Diff Kinda Guy

Dear Diary,

Didnt talk to B except earlier at work yesterday. I was on the phone till almost 12:30 with Mr Comedy last night. I got back online and still no B. I guess I get sad at times that he doesnt call me anymore due to the long distance shut off at the place he lives at. I talked to his roomate online and she said he was there, that everyone was there and they all had dinner. I guess I get sad and longing. Wishing I was there or invited. But then again what is B to do? I say to keep distance with my children at times, yet I want to be around him. And Im getting to the place where I dont care if the kids come with. If they see us in group situations, it would just be nice to be there and be invited. I asked B what he was doing for the 4th of July, he wasnt sure yet but I told him I wanted to spend it with him, yes at with the kids. He just said “we will see” So I guess its just frustrating because I like to make plans. Im gonna get to stay in my friends house out of town with the kids for a few days so want to figure out what me and the kids will do on the 4th. Id love to go and hang out with friends and not do the solo act if possible this year.

But the house I will be staying at, the street is having a block party and she said there are kids all over the street. So who knows maybe Ill just meet a bunch of strangers outside! haha.

Something the boss lady told me awhile ago about B. It rings thru my head now and then “B doesnt match your energy” I at times think about that. I hold back part of myself because well its hard to be your energetic bubbly self with your partner is all serious or doesnt smile. Like when I arrived for the weekend we had. I arrived jumpy and happy and I walk in to no smiles and silence. So it sort of throws water on your joy. I still tell myself Im going to have fun, but I just wish B could be happier with me and be on that level. Not saying people will always be on the same level.

Mr Comedy still cant get over the fact we can both do the Howie Mandell voice. Hes freaked out by it lol. In a good way. So the weirdest thing happened last night. In my mind I was thinking about Boo, the little girl in Monsters Ink and wanting to say some cute little line of hers out of the blue, and next thing you know he said something about it! I was like No way, hes all what? I said “I was just thinking the same thing!” Hes a really silly guy, just fun loving.

He sent me this adorable baby picture with his Mom and some old highschool pics of himself yesterday. Wow guy has some guts to share such things, haha. Cause the teenage ones were pretty funny, 80s long hair.

So today I asked him more on why he decided to get the Snip done. Vasectomy that is. He said a few reasons. More comfort and ease sexually without fear of getting someone pregnant. #2 watching his cousin who went thru a bad pregnancy and relationship. And #3 he said was a Movie. I said Huh? He said Jerry Maquire. Seeing how many children there are that need role models, and how one doesnt have to be BIOLOGICAL to make a positive impact on a childs life. And how one shouldnt just have a child for the sake of passing on a family name, that that can be a very selfish reason in some respects.

Hes going thru testing right now, after the surgery they have to check his “Potency” so he had to go back and have more surgery since he still didnt pass. Not sure how the whole process works, haha so just listen.

When he came online this AM he began to type the words to the Mickey Mouse Club song to me via Messenger.

We also talked about how he grew up. He was raised in a very strict catholic family. And he said he grew up in his terms “Very Amy Grant style” He said his first concerts were the Osmonds and the Carpenters and that he even had Donnie and Marie Dolls. He said he still loves their music and owns Osmond Cd’s. Im like Wow, what guy will admit to that? He said he always had a crush on Marie.

And how he loved their television program.

So yeah this guy is totally different from what Ive known as far as men.