Mini Retreat to his Arms

Dear Diary,


I left work yesterday. I kept crying and I started to feel nauseated. I knew I wasnt going to be of much use for the day at work. So I only stayed a few hours and left. I drove straight to boyfriends. He had no idea I was coming and I knew hed be in bed since he worked till 5am.


I snuck in and he looked up all shocked and said “Hey? I must be dreaming” and I came over and just laid next to him and hugged him. He asked me how I was, Told him not soo good. I ended up just laying in his bed crying. I didnt say anything, neither did he. He just laid there with me and held me. I just needed to let it out. I didnt have anything more to say. Just needed to cry. And I wanted the one person I love and feel close to near me. So I went to where I feel safe. His arms.


We then talked for about an hour. About how I was feeling. And he had a lot to say. Hes very straightforward, but it was good. Basically we talked about my friend C and his wife. I appreciate her telling me the news, but now I feel sucked back into this drama of all these old friends in my life with my ex, and they are all running around gossiping. Not that my sitter was trying to be mean and hurt me, but she called me up and did the whole “Im not supposed to tell you this but, ” and had me guessing, and all that. Boyfriend said “Thats creating Drama” So basically he said I need to tell this couple, thank you for telling me this and I really appreciate it, but I dont want to hear anymore about my ex” He said nip it right away because all the gossip will continue and dont be sucked into it, cause ultimately its gonna mess with everyone. Just end it. And if they dont respect that then I have to draw my boundaries with people I associate with. Boyfriend said “This couple cares about you and are useful to your life, they have reached out to you, but they also view you as a victim and downtrodden, and some people like to be the rescuer type, keep people in that place to make themselves feel good in there mundane lives, they feed off others drama. That made a lot of sense to me.


Boyfriend ended up coming back to town with me. Waited in the lobby while I went to counseling and met my counselor. I then picked up oldest for his group and boyfriend and I hung out while he was in group.


I have to leave, will finish my entry later.

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