It Hurts

Dear Diary,


Im totally bawling my eyes out. So many emotions flooding over me. Just crying. I havent cried like this about the marriage and my ex this hard for awhile. I do cry at times, but mainly over hurt and frustration over things he has done. Now Im just crying right now, crying over the loss. Crying because I truly know deep down inside I love him and I know he loves me. Crying because I hate how things are right now between us, crying because I miss that we cant talk. Crying because despite all the pain and bad things between us, I know that he has nobody else really in his life who has been there for him. I was there more than his own parents ever were in his life growing up.


Im dwelling on the good things right now. So much of my days are spent on the negative about him. I guess I think often times of Sonny and Cher, how they were together, she was so young, and how things changed, she grew up, etc etc. And how they were at odds and not really close. And how when Sonny died Cher hurt so badly, said she loved him and how her daughter said she knew then that her Mom really loved Sonny despite all that happened with them.


I just hurt so much, its so hard. All of this is just hitting me hard all the sudden.

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