Frustration Pt 2

Dear Diary,

Im so jittery right now! Anxious feeling. I guess Im nervous about the email I sent my Ex and awaiting a response. Im getting so fucking sick and tired of dealing with his BS. I wish I could just make it all stop!

Here is what I sent him via email…

” Im attaching a letter I received yesterday from my bank. They deducted $200 from the deposit I made on your check you last sent. Since the amount on the line didnt match the numbers. So now Im out $200 on that check you sent. Instead of the $*** it was supposed to be it was deposited as $***. Im getting really tired of having to constantly wait, call banks, deal with errors on checks, etc. Please dont put me though anymore of this.

Also the attorney’s office informed me you called and they faxed you the paper to make it back to a divorce to sign? The paper you have been hounding me over and complaining you are not receiving? But they said you still have not signed or sent it back. Whats the hold up, you were on my case over this everytime you called or emailed?

I wish you would see that this whole process is going to be hard if you cannot talk or handle matters rationally. Especially when it comes to the children. We need to be able to communicate as parents. Whatever is between us has nothing to do with them. You cannot expect me to know what things you would like to do with the children if you are not discussing and making plans taking me into consideration also. Its not about just writing an email saying IM DOING THIS. We need to check one anothers schedules also. As parents we need to mutually Discuss things together. Also the sooner this divorce gets completed we can have visitations and holidays, and all of that in writing so that there will be no more mix ups.

You called me not long ago crying at night saying You loved me, you were sorry for putting me through so much shit, that you are sorry I have to put up with so much from you. Yet you continue to treat me poorly through all of this. When is it going to stop?”

Victoria

I went to my second Anger Management Group and we were given a Anger/Stress Log. Its a weekly homework we have to do, Take a situation where we were upset and then answers the questions given to us. And he said to take any situation throughout the week. I came home to group to find the bank letter and of course I was instantly upset and thinking “Wow I already have something to put down” We talked about emotions, Frustration and Anger. How they arent the same thing. I think often times It is Frustration that I am dealing with. Feeling helpless and out of control in these matters with my Ex, waiting on time and the legal system and his not cooperating. Its very very frustrating to me. 🙁

The attny office called and said I have a court date in June! Thank God, but my question is what if he still isnt served squat by then, then what? Cause hes eluding them still. Even though I have his place of employment and cell number.And they even faxed him papers. They have nothing saying hes recieved them back, they need proof. The office keeps asking if I know anybody there in the state hes in who could serve him and I dont. My cousin lives about 6 hrs away, thats the closest person I know.

Onto other news, things with boyfriend are going well now. Hes been very sweet and telling me how cool I am and what a wonderful girlfriend he has. He is working like crazy right now. And this weekend hes working 3 jobs! EEEKS! Hes getting so much overtime and this is a temp agency job thats taking up a bulk of his time, but the pay is good. Im happy for him and have told him to take advantage of all he can. I would! Hes been struggling by for sometime now, and now hes so thrilled to be making his rent in one weeks pay. Instead of it taking a month and him still not having enough. So I am very very happy for him.

He said to me last night “My God all this work is great, but I will tell you come Tuesday I just cant wait to see you and hold you, I miss you”

🙂

I miss him too