Boyfriend & Internet People
Dear Diary,
Boyfriend and I spoke finally yesterday about the convo we had the week prior. So basically what came out of it? Well he wants to go away with me for a weekend, and wants to meet up once a week if I can swing a regular sitter and we begin little weekly dates away from home, we each drive halfway and have a few hours together.
The puzzling part I still dont understand him is the fact that the whole thing was so complicated to even arrive at. I had a talk with him about how we are having a problem in communication and what I need from him so that things between us are more clear.
He still went on this speech again about his Jeep. I still dont quite understand it because to be completely honest I dont get what he is trying to say, and I think he is aware of this, but he is spitting out directly what he means. He said something to the affect of….
” I want to fix my Jeep, its something I have neglected, its symbolic, its not about the Jeep, its what it represents. I feel there are certain things in life I have rights to ( His Jeep) and things I dont deserve (Me)”
So does that make sense? So he feels he isnt good enough for me? So I say “So fixing your Jeep will tell you that you are?” And then he gets upset and says No his Jeep isnt the point, its what it represents?? I said “Explain the correlation between US, going away, and your Jeep? and it seems somehow we get off the subject again. So its like he says ” I will go away with you, lets go!” but then gives this whole speech afterwards, WHY? If he wants to go why does he say all of that? This is the part of him that makes no sense to me.
And then when I talked about meeting up once a week halfway, he goes through this whole speech of how he might not always be able to hold to that day, blah blah blah. Im like ” YOu dont have to explain to me if there is work, or transportation dilemmas. If that comes up so be it, thats life. But why do you have to sit there and say all of this? Do you tell an employer”Well someday down the line Ill get sick or wont have a car, so I cant tell you that I will always be here?” NO, you take the job, if a problem arises, you call in. Boyfriend makes everything so complicated when it doesnt have to be. So I said “Listen you drive out about once a week to see me as it is, why not just consider doing this instead of you coming out to spend the night late at night, plus its hard with your job and time you have to leave in the AM” I said this way we are both home at a decent hour, and we get to be out together and we each only drive about 30 minutes.” So he said that sounded fine to him.
But my God all I went thru to even get to this place with him. I dont get it.
Lastly I said ” If your Jeep is that important to you and something you need to do, go do it, let me get out of your way”
he didnt like that, the goog 🙂
and the other thing I said was “I have children, I HAVE to plan things, this is the way my life works, and I cannot change that, I cant accomodate to your impulsive lets do it today view, it just doesnt work for me, I cant change my life, I have 2 little people I am accountable for, so that is where I need you to tell me if you can do this, because this is how it is for me, if you dont like it then you dont have to be in this”
Im needing to start vocalizing what is acceptable for my life.
Well my attny did get a hold of my ex and faxed him papers, but the ex said he was taking them to an attny before signing the letter stating he got them and faxing them back. It was one sheet! Ugh, self explanatory, so I really wonder if he will even send it back. So far it was last Tues that he got it, Nothing yet. My sister and I spoke yesterday and she said her whole divorce process cost her about $10,000!! I about fell off my chair. All because of her ex tieing up crap. And she got nothing out of it in the end but a divorce. No possessions, no house, ugh what she went thru. I have no idea if Ive gone over my retainers fee amount yet, but with the amount of times they have done up paperwork cause of my ex not responding is getting annoying.
I did forget to mention. The party I went to. Well the person whos birthday it was is in love with a girl online, theyve been an item for a year now. They act like boyfriend and girlfriend. Talk on the phone, on and on. Well the part that is odd is she keeps talking about meeting but then flaking on him. She is supposedly a young model and has sent a ton of pics, boyfriend has spoken to her also on the phone. But its just getting rediculous. She told him she would come to his birthday party, he walked around bragging so happy and smiling saying she was coming. But secretly all his friends placed bets on her not showing up once again. And well what happened? She didnt show. I dont get people, Ive watched her online with him, shes a total tease, and boyfriend said he even told her “Listen Im tired of you fucking with my friend, this isnt cool” So he was upset yesterday, but at the same time hes allowed this the whole year, this guy. Why do people do this? I asked boyfriend ” Has anyone met her at all in the chat room?” He said No, so i said “Well maybe she isnt who she says she is?” He said “Well if she is a fake identity she has hundreds of photos she sends out from her model shoots all the time, so if she isnt really this person she is sickly obsessed with another persons identity.” Just reminds me of Jamis entry she just wrote about the Rosie Odonnel getting duped online by a person with mult personality disorder.