Aftermath

Dear Diary,

Well I spent the eve alone, did some crying. Laid in bed and watched tv, I couldnt fall asleep so I got online about 11pm. Boyfriend signed on a min after I did. He said hello, the said “I know that you are pissed off at me about what happened. It was really crappy” referring to cancelling the date.

He then asked me to phone him.

To sum it up. He asked me out Sa nite, said he would call and cancel. Would I still like to go?

And we had a big discussion about What does it mean when I say I want time together. He wanted to know. He thinks that us talking, emailing or coming to see me at night once a week of so is time together, which it is, but Im wanting time out, time interacting in public or outer settings other then just at my house hidden from my children behind close doors after they go to bed.

So we had a discussion about going out together and it not happening. He said he thinks I have so much to do all week with the kids and responsibilities that he assumes I dont want to go out those nights and I dont ask him, me on the other hand want him to just tell me a date so I can plan for it. So we both are expecting the other one to pick the day. So I said “So basically what needs to happen is we need to discuss further when we talk about going out, both share available days, and come to an agreement together” Since we are both waiting on the other according to him? Not sure thats all true, but there ya have it.

I asked him why he did that, with our date? Why did he ask me then cancel the following day and I asked him if he understood how that made me feel. And I said “Why did you do that?” he answered “Well I guess I felt you were already pissed off at me anyways, that I screw things up so why bother”

What does one say to that? I told him “I would love too” when he asked me, and I felt so much better, I didnt say it would be a bad time out or that Id be a witch for the eve. I simply said “I would like to go out with you”

Now he is in the defensive mode with us doing anything feeling like hes a screw up. And that I expect all this magical tap dancing on a date from him. Fact is I just want a date is all! I shared with him our dates out, and that they go quite well, but I also told him he cant expect that there wont be moments where something may not go right. Its life.

And we discussed his money thing, and I asked him why he is so strange about spending money for us to do much. He said “Im really cheap” I said “I know and it sucks” 🙂 Wow, Im really good with money and not raking up debt and such, but wow hes a lot tighter with his money, he will spend it yes, but only to what seems to suit his wants for the moment. And Im talking about investing some into some special time for us.

So he sent me this email this AM…

“i CALLED **** AND LET HER KNOW IM NOT WORKING TOMMORROW. SO WE ARE ON FOR

SATURDAY.SO… BASICALLY IF i HAVE TO TAKE YOU AND THE KIDS TO A MOVIE AND

CHUCKY CHEESE WE WILL HANG OUT ON SATURDAY SO =0p~~.”

LOVES YA BABE

Now hes never said its ok to do anything with my kids around, so its a positive thing yes?