Im in a weird Funk today. I dont know why exactly. You ever just feel down or sad and you ask yourself “Hmm is it PMS? Hmmm is it low blood sugar, not enough protein today? Hmmmm is it this or that?”
I just broke down in tears last night after hanging up with the boyfriend, nothing bad was said. I just didnt want to go yet. I didnt say that. But I just started bawling? I was laying there thinking “Whats wrong with you? Why are you acting like this?” Cause I couldnt even explain myself. Its like I was being some whiney child who felt alone. I know that isnt adult behavior so I kept it to myself. Told myself to just lay there in bed till I fell asleep.
Is it I truly am used to drama and now that things are mellow and quiet, even the boyfriend and I’s convos are less. That isnt a bad thing, there doesnt always have to be a big plate of topics or stress or situations to talk about. So is that why I feel all sad and uneasy and like somethings wrong? Just because its quiet and we have less to talk about lately?
I just feel hyper sensitive today. I feel weepy. Damn period just start already so I can have some relief from this! It seems I get this way every month the few days before. I hate blaming it on PMS, but is that what is making me feel this way?????? Im not one of those who gets mean and bitchy. I just get emotional and weepy.
All I want right now is a hug and some attention I guess, acting like a lil girl.
I am jealous in some ways also. Jealous of others freedom. I hate being home, I hate not having people to do things with with my children. I hate not having enough money to do certain things, blah blah blah.
Yeah I told you Im whiney today.
Just feel lil depressed today I guess, it will pass.