Drama?

Dear Diary,

I have about an hour and a half till my late night Date Man arrives. Just passing time, sitting here in my warm fleecy like those warm blankie jammie pants that I adore. Ohhhh they are sooo snuggly, wanna feel? Cmon you know you do!

I keep hearing that song “No More Drama” by Mary J. Blige. Its a lot of how I feel. Yet at same time am I just a person who lives in drama no matter where I am at? I know that I look at things thru my own eyes. And others see it differently, yet I cant compare myself to others since we are all different. My life used to be so predictable for such a long time. Now here I am in this unknown world ahead of me. Is it supposed to stay mellow? I wouldnt say that my life is always terrible and rocky, but I think I have a lot of emotions flying, but then again anyone who has lived a life like mine would have some stuff to deal with. That would just go away.

I went and read all the concert reviews from DC Talks concerts. Im so anxious now. Sait the concert is over 3 hrs and by the time it was over people were out of breath. It sounds wonderful and to be honest I really cant wait. About 2 weeks ago I was sitting in the College age Group on Sunday night at church, with the worship group playing on electric guitars, bass, drums and keyboard, and I just loved it. For so long I was in the whole stand up sing with a piano and hymnal church. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but Im past that place now. Im starting to really value worship as a intimate time between me and God. Im finding myself craving it more now then I ever used to. Yes I actually raised my arms for the first time 2 weeks ago with my eyes closed while singing. Then here I am driving to work and feeling that same desire while listening to Creed on the radio.

I cant wait for Sunday night so I can go again and enjoy my time with God. Yes its not the same church I was attending. And I will go where the doors seem open and I find a place with some commonality for the type of christianity I want to live. I wonder if one of these days I will walk in christian circles with friends in the church? Im so afraid of that after all I went thru. I stay to myself pretty much. That is ok, God deals with me right where I am at, and right now church is my time with Him.


OH! ANd I keep forgetting to write. After continued months of regularly working out and using weights. I have officially lost 6 pds. It was strange since I worked out so regularly and my weight just remained the same. But dating man said I am building muscle also. Hmmm just interesting that within this past month POOF I lost some weight. No wonder Im always pulling my pants up. 🙂

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