Women Church Conduct

Dear Diary,

The man from the church Im no longer going to visit called me again tonight. I was in the middle of making the children dinner and comfy in my pajama pants. Oh I must interject here! Walmart has these pajama pants that are a warm fuzzy fleece like those warm blankets! They are so comfy and soft. I bought 2 pairs. Omgosh they are wonderful!

So I answer the phone. He says to me ” Are you going to church tonight? I know you didnt go to the other Revival Meetings I didnt see you” I was somewhat irritated inside. Im not going there anymore! But the poor man doesnt know this, he doesnt even know that I find the church to legalistic and I dont much care for it.

Something My Love said to me awhile back when this man started calling me. See I have known this man since I got saved and attended a church youth group. He married another girl in the youth group around the same time I got married.

Well he got divorced last year. I dont know all the particulars since I havent spoke to his wife since the divorce. But she had been having affairs. Mind you I dont think having an affair is right, but I cant say that I dont understand the woman. There is something I find interesting going on in christian churches. A lot of women are acting out. WHY? And then they look all to blame for the ruin of the marriage.

I think when one lives under such control and strict guidelines they reach a point where they snap, and the result is rebellion, wanting to go against that which you are told. Just my take on it since I have experienced this.

Anyway, this Man told me one day as we spoke on the phone “You know you really have the upper hand in this church, they really are protective of the single women around here” I said “Oh?” And he went on to tell me ” You see if a guy wants to get to know a lady in the church he must go before the pastor and some other leadership and ask for permission, then he is put thru questioning of his intentions with the woman” And then they meet with the woman to let her know a man has expressed interest, She chooses to say yes or no to this request to meet him. DANG! I was like “Are you serious???” when he told me this.

So my Love said to me after I shared all this “Dont you get it hun? Hes interested in you. He is calling cause he wants to get to know you, if he truly was abiding by the churches rules what he is doing isnt acceptable, he doesnt want to go thru the pastors or leaders, hes calling you himself” At the time I just thought he wanted to talk. But as time has passed he continues to call. And he knew the status of my marriage. He had a crush on me back in high school, so of course Im potential bait.

So I said to him tonight “No I dont go to the church, I just went to the recovery group and that was all” He said “oh….. oh so you dont go to the church services?” No I answered. He said he was just heading out the door to leave for church. And he said goodbye. Do we think he will stop calling? I doubt it. I remember I asked him about his wife I said “Did she go to this church with you?” He responded “Yes, and she always seemed angry, like her teeth were clenched”

ITS A WONDER WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really hope to meet up with her one day and find out her side of the story.

I cannot go back to the type of Christianity I lived in. Ive changed so much, seen so much abuse of authority, abuse of control. When one has been thru it as long as I have and practiced it, then to start to see the errors, and feel something isnt right, and then to be seen as the outcast, sinner or rebellious one, you get to see the other side of the coin. How it feels to be on the other end. There is no way I can return to that life.

This church is HUGE. I think Wow, it makes so much money. Are all these Christian homes as legalistic and the women under such control as I once was? Are there women in their crying inside? Getting on medication for depression thinking they are selfish or sinful for wanting to break out of there way of living?

Ive been thinking the past few days, as I was leaving the grocery store, about Christian women and abuse. Is there anyone out there with such a ministry to address these types of issues?